Gray Hair for Self-Acceptance

Does the headline “Gray hair for self-acceptance baffle you?” Many in society believe that women should never allow their white or silver hair to show. Dye it as fast as you can! Thankfully, this belief is starting to change. Silver hair is becoming fashionable, as some younger women are painting their hair that color. While there’s a gray revolution going on with older women to stop the dye and allow their true hair to emerge, especially since coronavirus is forcing us to social distance from salons.

The reason I wrote this blog (back on July 16, 2020) is to validate women’s natural color and those who have curly hair. It’s also for me to share my own experience, which I hope will encourage you to learn self-acceptance for your own hair. Here’s my brief history:

Curly Hair

It wasn’t until my thirties that I truly embraced my curly, thick hair. When I was in grade school, my black girlfriends loved my hair and always wanted to braid it, while I loved touching their Afros. Bald men would comment on my hair while wishing I could give them some hair. Sadly, not everyone felt this way, and I often heard:

  • Straighten it.
  • Thin it out.
  • It’s so fizzy.
  • Is that your real hair?
  • Get a perm to calm your hair down.

Perhaps these people meant well; however, I really wished they kept their opinions to themselves.

Gray Hair

Maybe I’m weird, but I have always disliked makeup and preferred the natural look. Which is why I never even considered painting my hair. Then in my early thirties, I started getting gray in the front of my hair and people just had to give their unwanted feedback. Even one of my former colleague’s customers hounded me, “You’re too young to go gray, dye it, and you will look so much prettier.”

Sigh, I wish I had better self-confidence back then. Against my better judgement, I dyed it, and continued to dye it decades later. I swore that I would be like my Aunt Frieda, who dyed her hair and kept her long hair in a bun until her death at ninety-one.

We make plans and God laughs. There were little hints before the big ones were revealed. Hair dye always made my head itch like crazy; however, the last two times I got it painted – I felt loopy and weird afterwards and wondered if it could be the chemicals from the dye.

Spiritual Guidance and Covid-19

As you know, many salons were shut down; therefore, society’s roots began to be shown. I had a precognitive dream about my hair that inspired me to write the blog, Dream Meanings for Hair. When my hairstylist texted me, the salon is open, my spirit guides kept telling me – no.

To make a long story short, it was time to stop painting my hair, and allow my actual color to shine through. What a perfect time to do it when we’re still in stage two of reopening and my hair is often in a bun, ponytail, or braid during our hot and humid summer. Plus, I decided to go cold turkey, be a skunk, and keep it long. This could take a year and a half or so…

I joined the three following Facebook groups – Silver Revolution, Curly Silvers, and The Gray Book for moral support. There are thousands of women in these groups who are going through this experience in the way that works best for them: bleach it, use semi-permanent dye, cut it short, go cold turkey, or having lowlights or highlights done.

Gray Hair Comments

Just like unsolicited advice for curly hair, some people really need to learn that silence is a golden rule and bite their tongue. Yet, expect to hear some of the following:

  • Dye it.
  • You’re too young to go gray.
  • You’ll look so old.
  • When are you going to dye your hair?
  • What’s up with your hair?
  • You look like my grandmother.
  • Your hair looks like a skunk.
  • I pay for you to dye it.
  • Dye it gray or have highlights, instead of going cold turkey that could take a year or more.

Gray Hair for Self-Acceptance

It takes courage and lots of self-acceptance when it comes to allowing your natural color to come in. It’s also an interesting ride to see the true color of your hair. At first, I thought it would be white because of my roots. However, as it grows…, my real hair color is salt and pepper or as I like to say, “Silver and obsidian.”

I’m fortunate because I have support from my life mate and family. Plus, I work from home, which makes it easier than those who work in public. Mostly, I’ve gotten positive feedback. I do have caps, bandannas, and scarves for video calls and being in public for my comfort, as I’ve heard enough stranger’s comments about my hair to last several lifetimes.

I had a ton of replies planned for those bold people who would remark on my gray, although now I just have two because I’m more comfortable with my gray journey. If someone tells me to dye my hair, my response would be:

  • Opinions vary.
  • No, no, no, a thousand times no!
  • Beauty doesn’t come in a bottle (saw that in a comment).

If you’re ready, began the process of accepting your true hair color. So far, not only has my gray hair deepened my self-acceptance, it has reinforced being true to myself, and discovering the beauty of becoming older. I will keep you updated.

If you need assistance with your self-acceptance, please check out my services.

Originally posted July 16, 2020

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